Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 02.07.2025 03:36

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

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I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can read

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I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why is it after eating almonds when I’m occupied, I don’t feel mild itch, but as soon as I have nothing to do, I feel mildly itchy?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know who the president of Turkey really is

How can someone express their love for a guy without using words? What are some actions that can convey love and care?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What are some ways to help bring out natural curly/wavy hair?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t buy bullshit

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I actually pay taxes

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet